My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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