well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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