hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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