Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
