Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
