We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
