He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
