you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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