drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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