You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
