Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
