my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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