I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
