Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
dude. I can hear the air.
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