Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
