i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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