my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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