it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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