so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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