planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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