wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize