I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
