Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
