is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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