oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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