also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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