david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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