U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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