For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
