hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
