he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
