Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize