Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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