Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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