Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
