he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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