are you still at the devil's house?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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