tell your sister to shave her snatch
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
