what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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