is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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