so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
NoShamevember. You game?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
