Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think people are normalizing furries
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