hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
