Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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