Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
