be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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