i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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