Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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