Don't make out with my wife yet
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
