I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
