____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
