He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
