I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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