Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
May the power of my ass compel you!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
