If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
