I can tuck mytits in my pants
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
