Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize