What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
