Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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